And so this is Summer...

It has been a mad five weeks, and there have been occasions when I have been on the verge of blogging but have been put off by the increasing direness of our internet supplier. I kept thinking, I'll blog, but it'll be faff because it will take me an age to type anything, then it will take an age to upload and I'll rue the time lost of my life that I'll never get back. On reflection, this is a bad attitude to take, but it did goad us into upgrading our internet supply and now we have, and I quote the engineer who visited with his bag of internetness, 'the fastest broadband speed I've ever installed.'

(Of course, we might have been only the second client he had ever serviced, but he looked like he'd been around the telecommunications block a few times and so I like to think not. And we are fast now - Andy did a check this morning and it was 147 Mbps!)

So, what's been occurring? Heatwave continues but it is not as heatwavy here in the West Midlands as it has been in Kent, I am reliably informed by my family and friends darn Sarf. I can now officially confirm my school's June Ofsted was 'Good' in all areas and I got 'Outstanding' for English with the report making special mention of my 'Biscuit Lesson.' I am happy with this because it now means I can leave teaching any time in the next three years on a high note with nuffink to prove to no-one, guv.

Last day of term for me was 27th July and that evening Number 1 Son arrived with the two Granddaughters to offload them for a week in order that he and his partner could go out gallivanting of an evening. Oh no, sorry, that wasn't the reason. Ahem. It was so Gran and Grandpa could spend quality time with the Granddaughters. Anyway, after a week of quality non-stop activity I have discovered these things:

1) I am glad I had my own children in my early twenties because I cannot think why anyone would plan to have children later in life.

2) I despise theme parks with deeper breadths and depths of my soul than I ever knew existed.

3) the going rate for the Tooth Fairy has shot up, in my belief, beyond inflation.

4) children do not believe you when you tell them that drinking fizzy stuff is very bad for one's health and they might just as well start on the crack cocaine now as their health is doomed anyway.

5) you sometimes have to work bloomin' hard to stare down a stubborn child.

6) other stuff I cannot possibly divulge in a public arena but Grandpa Andy knows.

Anyway, a generally good time was had by all and we performed a child swap on Friday at an undisclosed venue in Oxford, only to find on the way home and stuck in a jam on the M5 that we had acquired my Mother instead. She is staying until next Saturday. She has already told me to visit the doctor regarding a mole on my arm which is 'bothering' her. Yes, bothering HER! This mole has been in situ and unchanged for the last 40+ years. And I doubt it is bothering her as much as our red kitchen and red front door because she hates red. She has also shouted at me in the middle of the supermarket. I was affronted by this as I am 52 and do not need reprimanding by my parent in any public place. Anyway, I didn't sulk and put it down to cantankerousness of age. Hers, not mine. But really.

Last week we also acquired some new hens. These were donated free by a farm we know which is running feral with gazillions of chickens. I thought we were taking three chicks, but when I arrived with cat carrier I was told, 'You can take their mother, too. You can bring her back in a few weeks if you like, but don't worry if you don't want to.' This was delivered with the undertone of, 'We don't want the mother back and if she is returned she will be pie,' and thus I was presented with a mum and
her three babies. They are very pretty bantam hens. All sort of speckled and striped and various combinations of black, white, grey, brown, gold and all-round prettiness.  Mum Bantam has already presented 5 eggs so she can stay. I asked the farmer lady if she was sure the babies were all hens. She said, 'Yeeeeeeeesss...' in that high rising intonation tone of voice which suggested she wasn't really. If any of the babies turn into cockerels, we shall have a problem. Fingers crossed not, then. The granddaughters wanted to call the hens things like Unicorn Poo, Moppy Fuzz and Steve. I declined their creativity in favour of  Millie, Mollie, Maggie and May, after characters from a favourite poem by e.e. cummings.

So we are now an 8 hen family, the biggest we've ever been. And not one ever lost to a fox which is probably tempting fate but I shall send Andy up the garden for a tiddle wee later, so that'll sort that.

The carpenter has been and removed all the skirting boards and architrave in preparation for the levelling of the quarry tile floor by the floor man on 16th, to be followed by the return on the carpenter on 3rd September to install new wood floor, understairs office space - desk and shelving - and removal of current stupid bannister rail to be replaced with new sensible bannister rail on opposite wall. This will then be followed by return of floor man to put in carpets in bedrooms and on stairs and landing. I am thinking that as we shall be skirting and architrave free for four or five weeks and furniture empty for at least three days I should use the opportunity to decorate the living and dining rooms because I won't have to fret about neat lines. Nor paint on the carpet. Or new wood floor. This means I have to make decisions about paint and wallpaper because Andy will be easy going and non-committal. But because I am off school I am feeling enthused about the idea of decorating. Plus I've done the granddaughters bedroom and it didn't really take that long except the bunk bed, the experience of which I have already deleted from my mind.

And so this is Summer. It is full on and things are getting done. Life is moving on. I am also galloping on apace with my career as a healing channel, but more of that another time.